4.) Hanging with my friends
6.) Drive By’s
7.) Video Games
8.) Successfully planing out and committing
and act of pre-meditated murder.
So that brings us back to now. I just tripped and the lobster is about to eat me. Oh shit. Am I gunna die?
I break the Darth Vader Action figure in half.
(Don’t panic. I have at least 35 more)
Sealed inside, is a gorgeous, 4 carrot diamond ring. I turn to face the giant lobster, conveniently, from my tumble, I am already on one knee.
She gasps the kind of gasp that only she could gasp. I see tears form under her beautiful lobster eyes.
“...I-I...OF COURSE? I DO!”
We kiss passionately for at least 30 seconds. We use tongue*.
So now we’re getting married. The wedding is yesterday. You’re invited.
*Remember to google if lobsters have tongues.